Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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