I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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