If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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