Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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