i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
