id be glad to
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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