The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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