I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
