break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
