We're like a lot better than the average bears
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
