Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Two words: nipple clamps
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