i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
