Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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