We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
