i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
