i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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