Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
