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so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
