this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
