i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
