Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
