Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
