I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
