Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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