The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
