I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
