Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
