My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
