Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
