You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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