i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
