Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
