My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
