Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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