I just pynch a tree in the face
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
