you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
