Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
