How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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