Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
