She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
