Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
