Already got asked if we're dating
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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