Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
