i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
