I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
