Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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