Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
