i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
