I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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