I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
