he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
