last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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