If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
